


Demons

by goforcharlie



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Mature rating for future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28211574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goforcharlie/pseuds/goforcharlie
Summary: Dani’s fighting demons.I really like the world where one of the core four owns a local pub and that’s a sort of common ground for our characters, so that’s where I went with this one.  Jamie’s of course still a gardener and works at Bly but whether its haunted or not doesn’t affect this story.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Hannah Grose/Owen Sharma
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Dani/Jamie fic but like so many I’m obsessed with them and they are such beautiful characters and I was inspired to get writing so hope somebody, anybody likes it or finds something in there that’s worth reading. It’s mostly off the cuff so I’m sure there are grammatical mistakes. Comments/Feedback welcome of course. I don’t have a specific plan necessarily, I just started writing. But want to take this somewhere. Cheers.

Dani knew she was throwing herself into the ocean, free falling into unimaginable depths. But she’s already blown up her life this far to be free, to discover herself. So what’s a little more?

But what she didn’t know is that those unimaginable depths aren’t so scary when you have someone holding your hand as you descend. Someone to feel the gravity with you. Not until she met Jamie. In fact, she welcomes the dark unknown. Challenges it to do it’s worst. Because there is this woman who makes her feel brave, or reckless. Either way, there’s no turning back.

Their meeting was a mistake. She was waiting for a date, a Rachel. Or was it Riley? Either way, a curly haired brunette strolls into the pub that day and Dani’s eye is caught immediately. She tries not to be distracted as she sits and waits for Robin. No...Renee? 30 minutes pass. An hour. Regan still hasn’t shown up. God, what was that woman’s name? She should try and figure it out and write her a thank you note for standing her up that day. Because had she shown up, Dani would have never been surprised when that curly haired brunette suddenly slides up to her table, her accent immediately lulling her into something.

“You alright, love?” The stranger asks, a mysterious smirk on her face.

“Who me?” Dani replies, knowing there’s no one else she could possibly be asking.

“Yeah, you. You’ve been sitting here for like 2 hours now, fidgeting and looking around for somebody who clearly is an idiot or is going to need one hell of an explanation for standing a beautiful woman like you up.”

Dani smiles a little and tilts her head, “How do you know I’m waiting for a date? Maybe I’m just having a night to myself.”

She knows she doesn’t sound convincing.

“Perhaps,” the woman considers, “but I doubt it. Just somethin about both the expectation and disappointment in your eyes.”

“And what do you know about my eyes?”

“Oh nothing, nothing at all. Just like to think of myself as an intuitive person, that’s all.”

“Mmm,” Dani muses back, suddenly feeling very self conscious about being stood up and also about the way this stranger is looking at her. Like she’s searching for something.

The other woman straightens a little, clears her throat. “I didn’t mean to offend, sorry, sometimes I can be really thick. I’ll leave you be...”

“No!” Dani replies after a beat, a little too loudly. She notices the satisfied smirk her table mate wears, even though she tries to hide it.

“You’re right,” Dani admits when the brunette sits back down. “I was meeting someone. But clearly she had second thoughts.”

“Well, she’s an idiot. What kind of decent person stands a date up?”

“She probably just had an emergency or something, something that was more important. It’s fine, I don’t care. Probably for the best.”

She looks up to meet the other woman’s eyes who are giving her that look again and Dani feels a familiar current travel through her body.

“What if I picked up where she left off?”

“Huh?”

“Wellll....you are supposed to be on a date with some woman having maybe good conversation maybe terrible conversation all while trying to figure out if they’re going to be good for a fuck or maybe a couple more dinners or maybe nothing at all, and um, I like to think I’m good for any of those things, and could fill in...”

Dani looks at the woman across from her, bewildered but feeling excited. A moment of boldness creeps out.

“So which part are you good at? The conversation or the fucking?”

Dani probably should have waiting for the brunette to finish taking a sip of her beer before her inquiry but she can’t help but feel a little satisfied when she sees her sputter a little, trying not to choke on the drink she just took. She wipes her face on her sleeve and smiles..

“I like to think both, but I suppose that’s not for me to judge.”

Dani chuckles and takes another drink of her own beer. She then offers her hand out to the woman across from her.

“I’m Dani, by the way,”

A hand both soft and calloused grabs hers.

“Jamie.”

“So, Jamie, do you make it a habit to spot the rejected losers of the room and sweet talk them? Or am I just a special loser?”

She notices a look play across Jamie’s face that she can’t quite place.

“Hey, it’s a small town. Got to take my shots when I see them.”

Dani chuckles, taking another sip, suddenly feeling very aware of herself and not quite sure of what to do with her hands. Or face. Or anything right now.

A silence falls between them and Dani takes a moment to study Jamie, the brunette doing the same by the looks of it. A crack of thunder shakes both of them out of the moment. Dani jumps a little and hits the table with her knees, spilling her beer.

“Shit!”

The tide of beer rushes into Jamie’s lap and she stands up so she doesn’t catch it all.

“Ohmygod, I’m so sorry,” Dani says in a rush, desperately searching for something to mop up her mess.

“It’s all good,” Jamie replies. “Hey, Dani...It’s all good. I’ll go grab a rag.”

Dani nods, trying to breathe calmly. The storm is unnerving, making her feel uneasy. Flashbacks of a rainy night, necessary truths, and too much yelling floods her mind. Headlights, sirens, red and blue lights. She must be lost in the memory for longer than she thinks because it isn’t till a hand touches her arm that she jolts back to reality, shaky and once again, embarrassed. She closes her eyes to try and center herself and hears Jamie’s soft voice float through the fog.

“You alright?”

“Um...,” she manages to squeak out, “y-yeah, I will be. Sorry just need a second.”

“No worries, take your time,” she hears Jamie say. There’s a beat then, “Is there anything I can do? I’m rubbish at jokes but I can ramble on about something mundane if that’s what you need.”

Dani breathes a sigh and nods, her eyes still tightly closed.

“Ok...um...let’s see....what’s something dreadfully boring...I uh, I’m currently restoring an old pickup truck. Learned everything myself. Went to the library and checked out some books that I’m pretty sure no one has ever bothered to look for. An actual moth flew out of the pages when I opened one.”

This elicits a breathy laugh from Dani, who finally feels the air coming back into her lungs and the ground feels more sturdy under her feet. She takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly and opens her eyes to find Jamie’s.

“There we are. Couple more deep breaths...,” Jamie says softly. “Better?”

“Much...thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“S’alright. I had someone help how to deal with the shit that makes us feel suffocated so I get it.”

Dani smiles, sad but grateful for this moment she’s found herself in. She’s not sure why or how she’s here but she feels an urgency to not let it slip away.

“Since I so gracefully emptied your drink, can I get you another one?”

“Not your fault, love. That bloody rude thunder is to blame and these damn wobbly tables.”

Before Dani can object, Jamie waves her off.

“The barkeep is a mate of mine, he’ll be happy to get us a round. Same thing for you works?”

Dani feels a flutter in her stomach, intrigued by all that’s happened and this mysterious woman looking at her with raised eyebrows and a smirk on her face that Dani thinks is probably a permanent fixture on her face.

“Yes. Please. Thank you.”

Jamie winks at her and Dani is pretty sure her whole body blushes and before she can feel too embarrassed about it, Jamie is walking away to the bar.

“Oi! Owen!”

Dani watches Jamie move, watches her talk with the man she assumes is Owen, watches them laugh about something, watches the way she puts her hands in her pockets and waits for him to pour the drinks. Watches the way she glances back at Dani, a small smile on her face and maybe, if it’s not just wishful thinking, a blush.

She composes herself a little as Jamie makes her way back to the table. Behind her is the mustached man she was talking to at the bar, 3 shot glasses in hand. Jamie sets the pints down, sliding her chair around so she’s closer to Dani. The man sets the shots down and the smell of whiskey already hits her. She raises an eyebrow at Jamie who smirks, then turns her attention to the man.

“Dani, this is Owen. Owner of this fine establishment and one of my best mates. Owen, this is Dani.”

“Nice to meet you Dani, hope you like whiskey.”

“Best thing to drown your sorrows in,” Dani jokes, although there’s a sadness in her tone, which she can tell both Jamie and Owen pick up on, but to their credit, neither care or make a thing of it. Owen only smiles and raises the shot glass, Jamie picking hers up as well. Dani grabs her own, lifting it to meet the others’ in the air. She looks back and forth to the other two.

“So, what are we cheers-ing to?”

Owen looks at Jamie, who looks at Owen, who both look at her. Dani is scrambling for some eloquent words, her mind suddenly blank. Jamie clears her throat, gathering their attention.

“Creative lot we have here. Ok...I’ve got one.”

Jamie takes a beat and a breath, and turns slightly to favor Dani, and the blonde feels her stomach swoop and she holds Jamie’s gaze. She about gasps when Jamie, with a lopsided grin says,

“To Dani.”

She knows she’s blushing again but she can’t help it and she’d be mad about how satisfied Jamie looks but she finds every part of her smile intoxicating right now so she just smiles back.

Owen echoes the sentiment and she’s shaken from the momentary stupor and they clink their shots together, downing the brown liquid simultaneously. It burns but it feels good and Dani just wants to feel good right now.

“Ok ladies, I’ll leave you to it. Nice to meet you, Dani.” Owen gives her a wink, or maybe it was Jamie, but either way he leaves them be. Over the next few hours several more shots appear at their table and Dani knows she should control herself but Jamie makes a good point that it’s shit outside and something else about the start of a beautiful friendship, so now it’s last call and she feels very warm inside and for the first time in a while, peaceful. She knows it’s the whiskey but she likes to think it’s the company too and while a million things are going through her head and questioning this fast friendship she can’t seem to let those thoughts get too loud.

“So, Dani Clayton, from which part of the Americas do you hail from? No wait, let me guess...Ore-eh-gone?”

Dani snorts, leaning in towards Jamie as she shakes her head.

“No, more in the middle. Lot of corn, lot of cows, nothing interesting.”

“Well not nothing,” Jamie counters, “I mean, you’re from there.”

Dani smiles, inhaling a bit exasperated but flattered nonetheless.

“You’re sweet...but I’m afraid you’re seeing a little more than is actually there.” There’s a sadness towards the end and Dani looks down, lost in thought. The regular demons making an appearance. She closes her eyes, trying to ground herself again. Compose herself. Jamie clearly picks up on her internal distress because she feels a hand over hers and when she looks up after a moment, Jamie is looking at her, concern written on her face. Not pity which Dani notes. And if she’s not mistaken...an understanding. She doesn’t say anything either. Just waits for her. Waits for Dani. She feels a thumb stroke across the top of her hand, a small gesture to calm her. Keep her here. She’s not sure what she did to earn this stranger’s, this new friend’s, compassion.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” Dani lets out a slow breath. “I’m okay.”

Jamie cocks her head a little and asks if she wants to get out of here. Dani nods, knowing what that question usually alludes to but all she knows is that Jamie makes her feel, well, not like shit and that’s all she can ask for right now.

“My flat is actually just upstairs...but literally no pressure and I don’t expect anything obviously. I can walk you home or take you somewhere.”

Jamie’s cute when she rambles, Dani thinks. She chuckles and says upstairs is just fine.

“Just so you know, if you’re planning on any funny business I’ve taken kickboxing classes so...watch out.”

Jamie raises an eyebrow and laughs. “Good to know. Right. Well, um...follow me. Oi, Owen! See ya tomorrow. Hannah’s back right?”

“G’night you two,” he hollers back with a curious smile on his face. “And yes, she’ll be absolutely delighted to meet ya Dani.”

Dani blushes, a warm feeling running the length of her body at the simple acceptance of this group of friends. She’s known Jamie for about 5 hours but damn if it doesn’t feel much longer than that.

She follows Jamie out the back and up a set up stairs, her heart pounding annoyingly faster with each ascending step. The small porch to her back door is covered in plants and ivy. Dani loves how much life surrounds her as she waits for Jamie to open the door, and her breath hitches when they step inside and there’s even more of that life inside. Green drapes over wood and pokes up out of various pots. A fresh bouquet sits on Jamie’s small kitchen table. It’s simple, modest and minimal. The plants fill the small apartment, the air is almost too good, and Dani almost feels a little high. Maybe it’s the plants, she thinks. Or the whiskey. Or the way it makes her feel to watch Jamie move about, making tea.

“Make yourself at home.”

Dani throws off her coat and tries to do just that. She suddenly feels very aware again of everything about herself. Is she sitting normal? Is she acting normal? What does her face look like?

“Alright, love?” Jamie asks, bringing her back.

“Yeah - yes. I’m good. Thanks.”

“Here’s some tea, thought that’d help calm the nerves. Least it does for me. Nothing a good cuppa couldn’t fix. Someone told me that once. Suppose I can’t argue.”

Dani smiles, gratefully accepting the tea. It’s warmth is soothing and she closes her eyes, taking in another deep breath.

A flash. A memory. A demon. Always lurking.

She must not hide it well because Jamie’s putting her hand on hers again and doing the thing with the thumb. The thing that makes her stomach flip flop.

“I’m okay. Sorry about that. Just tired I guess.”

“S’alright. How about we just talk a little?”

“That sounds nice. Yeah...um...So did you grow up here?”

“In Bly? No, no uh, I grew up north of here. Just another small town. Nothin special. I’m a groundskeeper, well, a gardener for a wealthy family’s summer home near here. Keeps me out of trouble and I like working with my hands.”

Jamie smirks that smirk at the end, giving Dani a wink. She sips her tea, hoping the blush stays at bay.

“What about you? Visiting?”

Dani hears the way Jamie says visiting, as if she’s nervous to ask, fearing the answer is yes and Dani is just a ship passing in the night. She allows herself to indulge for a moment that Jamie would be disappointed to hear her affirm that question. She takes note of Jamie’s reaction when she tells her that she’s not just visiting. That she’s been there about 6 months. That she’s a tutor for now, but hopes to be able to teach at a school somewhere. Anywhere. Just, not there.

Jamie listens intently, her hands wrapped around her cup of tea like it’s a lifeline. Dani sees the understanding, the shared grief that only comes from a person who’s been through some shit too.

“Glad you’re here, Dani. I know we only just met, but...well...glad you’re here.”

Jamie holds up her cup of tea to Dani. She could cry right now but doesn’t want to dampen the mood any more. She’s just overwhelmed with a sense that things maybe, possibly, perhaps...will be alright. At least for tonight. She clinks her cup with Jamie’s, sharing a smile.

They talk for... she’s not sure how long really. Jamie puts a record on and they talk. About everything and nothing. Well, not everything. She can tell they are each dancing around very specifically omitted details. A silent agreement that this isn’t the time for that. They are practically strangers after all. But it’s comfortable here. Peaceful. She thinks she’s just closed her eyes for a moment but when she opens them again, sunlight is peeking through the blinds and she’s laying down on a couch, a blanket draped over her. She jolts up, needing a moment to take in her surroundings and remember where she is. Plants. Tea cup. Jamie.

“Morning,” she hears from behind her. Dani turns to find Jamie sipping from a mug, the smell of fresh coffee in the air.

“I know you yanks love your coffee so I went and grabbed some this morning. Thought it might, I don’t know, make you feel better.”

Dani can’t hold back her smile, especially since Jamie looks a little sheepish as she brings over the mug. The smell of the coffee is intoxicating.

“Thank you, Jamie. You really didn’t have to do that. All of it. Letting me stay. The coffee. It’s too much.”

“No worries. Honestly. Happy to do it,” Jamie says, shifting a little in her chair. Dani can sense she’s feeling the same unspoken awkwardness. They’re both approaching the same ledge, blindly, and perhaps eagerly as well. Call it fascination, or vibing energies or just plain horniness, but there’s been plenty of charged moments between them that whatever it is that they’ve ignited here doesn’t seem to be in danger of being extinguished. Unless one of them yields.

“I should go,” Dani says, even though she doesn’t want to. “I should uh, get out of your hair.”

Dani finishes her coffee and stands up. Jamie stands up too, with an urgency that catches Dani off guard but also elicits a chuckle. Jamie returns the sentiment and smiles at her.

“It’s Saturday,” Jamie blurts out, “and uh...well the pub does a Saturday brunch that’s honestly the best thing you’ll ever eat. Owen works some kitchen magic and...and Hannah will be back and you should, you should meet her really. I think you’d get along swimmingly. Plus, you can’t call yourself a local until you’ve had a full English at the pub and...”

“Jamie,” Dani interrupts, laughing. Jamie keeps rambling and she has to say her names again to get her attention.

“I’d love to. I’m actually starving.”

“Ok. Great! Bloody good. Um...well, it’s like 6 am so the pub doesn’t open for another couple hours...guess I got ahead of myself.”

Dani likes seeing her a little nervous, likes seeing the cracks in the bravado she met last night. Makes her feel a little less like Jamie isn’t real and she’s manifested this incredible person out of her own trauma brain.

“I suppose it might be good for me to have a shower and a change. How bout I meet you back here at 8?”

So that’s what they do. Jamie gives Dani a lift home in her truck. Dani and her share another charged moment as they say their temporary goodbyes. And Dani walks to her own flat, thinking about what the last 12ish hours brought her. She grabs her keys from her coat pocket, finding a scrap a paper along with them. Scribbled on it is a phone number and Jamie’s name. She looks at it for a while, smiling, almost giddy.

A hot shower while music plays lets Dani replay the events of last night and into this morning. She thinks about sitting there for that date that never showed. How she felt when she first saw Jamie saddle up to her table. How glad she is that whatshername had other plans that evening. She dresses and tidies up around her flat to pass the time, feeling both restless and exhausted. She’s so tired, but the thought of seeing Jamie again in just a short while reenergizes her. She opts out of taking the bus and decides to walk the mile and a half to the pub, taking advantage of the temporary blue skies to clear her head and walk off the nervous energy. She’s halfway there when that heaviness in her chest sets in. It’s the littlest things that set it off. This instance, a close call in an intersection between two cars, both laying on their horns and one narrowly missing a guy crossing the street. She ducks into an alley and tries to control her breathing. Tries not to think of broken glass and blood and being upside down in a car on a rainy night. Tries not to think of those last words she heard. Those venomous words yelled at her. The accusations of lying, of being confused, of being deliberately hurtful. She can’t fault being called a liar, if she’s being honest. She did lie. She lied to herself. She lied to him. She lied to everybody. But it was a lie she didn’t know she was telling for so long. But then curiousities turned into glances turned into longer stares turned into wondering turned into fantasies turned into ...well... telling her fiancé Eddie she’s gay and she can’t marry him and she’s sorry and she still loves him just not the way he loves her and she didn’t mean to hurt him but she can’t live a lie anymore. He says they should talk about this at home. That she is just confused. That she’s just nervous about the wedding. That she liked it when they had sex. That she can’t be gay because that’s disgusting. That she’s being selfish. And then he’s driving a little too fast and it’s raining and _Please Eddie, slow down you’re scaring me_ but he doesn’t listen. He’s yelling at her and his foot pushes down harder. And they come around a curve too fast and hug the middle of the road and there’s a honk and flashlights and then it’s a blur. And the next thing she knows she’s upside down in a car and her head hurts and she sees Eddie’s broken body through the broken windshield and she’s stuck in her seat and she’s screaming and there’s so much blood. She manages to break free and crawls out of the car, manages her way to Eddie. She knows he’s dead but she still looks for signs of life. Still hopes he’s okay and that this isn’t how it ends. But it is. And his mother will tell people it was just bad weather and bad roads and a bad tragedy. And she will hug Dani like Dani isn’t the one responsible for all this. And Dani will fill more and more with guilt and the memory will take up most of the space in her head and her heart till she’s suffocating and feeling like she is right now, tucked in this alleyway in a tiny town outside of London, her breaths short and erratic. Her hands cold and clammy. She squeezes her eyes as tight as she can, trying to maintain some level of composure. At least keep the tears at bay.

“You alright, love?” She hears a soft voice ask and she looks up to find a woman looking at her concerned, willing to help. Dani’s hands, which she had clamped over her face, lower the rest of the way and she wipes the escaped tears with the back of her sleeve. Dani can only nod at the kind stranger, not trusting her voice completely. She takes a few deep breaths and composes herself.

“I’m okay. Just...was having a moment I guess. Thanks for asking.”

“You heading somewhere? I can give you a lift if you’d like. My car’s only over there.”

Dani looks apprehensive, not wanting to burden yet another person who possesses a level of care for a stranger that frankly, confuses her. Maybe it’s a British thing.

“Oh, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine I promise. I’m meeting a friend for brunch soon. Thank you, that’s so kind to offer.”

“Is the place you’re meeting for brunch 17th Ave Pub by any chance?”

Dani blinks at her, wondering what the hell the universe is throwing at her.

“Yes actually. Heard it’s the best in town.”

The woman smiles and beckons her forward. “I just happen to be heading there myself, come along I’ll take you the rest of the way. If you don’t mind me saying, you’re looking a little worse for wear dear. But I think Owen’s cooking will fix you right up.”

“Is...Is your name Hannah by any chance?”

“It is, but how did you know that?”

Dani tells her about meeting Owen and Jamie last night and that the latter said the same thing about the cooking. Hannah laughs and says she’s quite right and that Jamie’s a good apple, one of the best actually. Fate must be working overtime for all these things to come together to this particular moment. Dani isn’t quite sure what she means but slides in next to Hannah in the car and soon they are pulling up by the pub. Jamie’s cocks her head and gives Dani a questioning look when she walks in with Hannah, clearly already acquainted.

“How the bloody hell do you two know each other already?”

Dani squirms, having no idea how to explain this one, and having no interest in sharing her recent alleyway panic attack. But Hannah, blessed Hannah, speaks up and says it was just fate and to not worry about it. She gives Jamie a kiss on the cheek and disappears into the kitchen to find Owen.

Dani and Jamie sit down at the same table as last night and Jamie quirks an eyebrow at her. Clearly unsatisfied with Hannah’s explanation of their sudden acquaintance with each other.

“Story for another time. Doesn’t matter really. I’m here now and I can’t wait to become a true local.”

Jamie studies her face, definitely unsatisfied with the answer and obviously curious and obviously tuned into the fact that Dani is withholding information but she doesn’t push, she just smiles and gives Dani’s hand a squeeze and a swipe of the thumb which makes Dani’s breath hitch a little which she knows Jamie notices and likes and that smirk is back.

“How was your morning, do anything fun with your time?”

Dani chuckles and smiles at the dumb joke, shaking her head. Maybe Jamie was right. Maybe this was the start to a beautiful friendship. Or at least the start to a beautiful something. Either way, she thinks she’ll stick around for it. If the demons let her.


	2. Chapter 2

Days turn into weeks which turn into months. Dani’s once solitary orbit now consists of three others. She sees Jamie pretty much everyday, sees Hannah and Owen most days. And on occasion she finds herself alone, and the silence can be suffocating. She used to really love being alone. No one to answer to or put on a show for. She could just be. Silent. Peaceful. 

Peace hasn’t been a staple in over a year now. It’s now cloaked in a veil of false promises. She shouldn’t fall for it by now but call her hopelessly optimistic. Just when she takes that deep breath, closes her eyes, and sits, feeling the tingles of relaxation is the moment the rug is ripped out from under her. Those days, in a blink, she finds herself on hands and knees, crying and trying to catch her breath. She might think her place is bugged because, half the time, just as she thinks this is the one she won’t catch her breath from, the phone rings and a voice and an accent that feels like a home she never had is on the other line wondering how her day was.

“Alright, Poppins?” Jamie will ask, the nickname she’s bestowed on her bringing a smile to Dani’s face. 

“Yeah, better now,” she’ll say back, reveling in the beat of silence knowing what Jamie’s got a similar smile playing on her lips. Lips Dani finds herself imagining the taste and feel of more and more. And what the sound would be from those lips when screaming her name or whispering in her ear. They’ve been dancing around each other since the moment they met. Owen and Hannah’s looks get more exasperated every day that she and Jamie continue to act like they are just friends who don’t want to see each other naked. 

In spite of how it ended with Eddie and all the baggage she still carries around, Dani has explored her newly revealed sexuality a bit. Dates here and there when she got to London, one night stands with faceless women who probably deserved more than Dani could have to offer. But even though she left in the morning, sad and wanting, she was exilaterated at her freedom to explore women’s bodies and their lips and all their various buttons. And have them explore hers in return. And while she’s out now, as much as she can be, and she’s accepted herself, there’s a bit where she’s not sure she will fit with anyone. The sex is great sure, so much better than she ever thought it could be, but there’s a part of her that’s broken she thinks. That will always hit a wall. A part of her that is incapable of really giving a person what they deserve. Another veil that keeps her rooted. Then Jamie inserted herself into her life and she thinks that maybe she’s not so broken after all. But god knows she’s damaged as fuck and Jamie deserves someone better than her. Someone who can reciprocate all that Jamie can give. Jamie is good. And Dani is not. 

The almosts that plague them when she and Jamie are together would infuriate anyone looking at them from the outside. The lingering touches and looks. They’re friends, best friends. Best friends are close. What she and Jamie have is special. That’s enough, isn’t it? 

But it’s not. She knows it. Jamie knows it. Well, she thinks she knows it. But no one will make the first move. Jamie not making the first move is the detail Dani fixates on. There must be a reason. But Jamie also isn’t looking at any other women the way she looks at Dani and she finds she has had to relieve herself frequently now, images of her and Jamie bringing her to climax every time. Getting off to your best friend is definitely normal. 

“You. Me. Pizza. Beer. What do you say?” Jamie asks on the other end of the phone line on a Friday night. 

“Jamie, you ask me this every Friday and have I ever turned you down?” Dani wonders back as she’s washing dishes, the phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. Before Jamie can answer, Dani puts the dish she was drying down and take the phone back in her hand. “What if, instead, we went and grabbed dinner somewhere, my treat.”

There’s a beat of silence on the other end and she starts to panic but then Jamie says yes. She says yes and that she’ll be there in an hour to pick her up. Dani smiles and ends the call with “can’t wait.” 

Got to start somewhere she supposes. Give it a chance. Give Jamie the option to say no. Her chest feels tight even imagining that outcome but she doesn’t think she can go another night with just fantasies and her own hand. 

There’s a knock at the door and she suddenly feels very nervous and very clammy and like every intelligent thought has left her brain. When she opens the door to find Jamie leaning against the frame, with her smirk and her curls and her jacket and her tshirt and jeans that look like they were made specifically for Jamie’s body and Dani’s mouth suddenly goes dry and she’s got to get it together she thinks. It’s just Jamie. Just her Jamie. 

“Since when do you knock anymore?” Dani teases. They exchanged house keys a few months ago, each using the other’s flat as an extension of their own. Still each their own space, but now including an open invitation to the other. 

If Dani’s not mistaken, Jamie looks a little nervous too. She didn’t say the word.  _ Date. _ But it was implied. She thinks. Wasn’t it? Jamie’s voice interrupts her before she can spiral too far into the presumptuous unknown. 

“Guess I just, forgot I guess. Long day, Poppins. What are you, the knocking police?” 

Dani would be disappointed that she’s maybe misread Jamie, but she only smiles and laughs because Jamie can always make her do both those things, even if she isn’t trying. She rolls her eyes and moves to signal Jamie to come inside. The air feels a little thicker as she walks to the living room, Jamie close behind. Dani wonders if she can feel it too. 

“So what do you have planned,” Jamie asks, flopping down on the couch while Dani gathers the rest of her things. 

Dani stops at the question, rolling her keys in her hand. She didn’t plan very far. Just asked the question over the phone and now here they are. Jamie, curious and hopeful. Dani, lost and nervous. She takes a deep breath and turns. 

“How bout the new spot that opened up down the street? Dani offers. 

Jamie must sense her nerves because she strides over to her and stills Dani’s hands who are still fidgeting with her keys. “Sounds perfect.” 

“Good,” Dani replies with an exhale. 

They lock up and leave. The walk down the street is quiet and full of so many unsaid things. Jamie’s hands are in her coat pocket as she walks alongside Dani with that classic Jamie strut. Not hurried. Intentional. The crisp autumn air fills Dani up, expanding her lungs and making her blood and skin feel a little more alive. There’s that smell in the air of a storm brewing but she tries not to focus on that. Instead, she thinks about what it would be like to grab Jamie’s hand and feel the combo of soft and rough. To lace their fingers together with a purpose. She thinks about what it would feel like to push Jamie up against the wall in the upcoming alley. What sound she’d make as Dani’s lips touched hers and Dani’s hand stroked soft skin between cotton and denim. What it would feel like to touch Jamie while she’s pushed up against cool brick, in the shadows of a town. She thinks about the scent of Jamie all over her skin and her hot breath mixed with hers. She thinks about what Jamie’s neck is like to kiss. She thinks about...

“You’re doing it again...,” Jamie’s voice cuts through the cool air, jolting her from her thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“You’re humming. You hum when you think. So whatcha thinkin about?”

Dani knows her skin must be a little flushed and even though Jamie doesn’t know what she was thinking about, she still feels caught. 

“Nothing really,” she offers weakly. “Sorry...”

Jamie’s hand gently grabs her wrist and stops them. “Hey,” Jamie’s hand comes up to hold Dani’s chin and tilt her head to meet her eyes. When she finally does, Jamie’s hand drops and she smiles, a little sadly, but her voice is solid and determined. “Nothin to be sorry for, Poppins.” Jamie studies her for a moment longer. She scrunches her forehead a little and tilts her head. “You sure you’re alright?”

Dani would only have to lean in a little more and press her lips to Jamie’s to finally find out what she tastes like. Instead she wraps her arms around Jamie and holds tight. She tucks her head into Jamie’s neck and squeezes a little harder. Jamie matches the pressure, one of her hands holding the back of Dani’s head, a thumb stroking softly. 

“Hey,” Jamie says and Dani squeezes even tighter. “Hey...it’s okay. You’re alright. I’m here.” She can feel Jamie’s breathe hot on her ear and she whispers more reassurances. 

They stand like that for a while. She’s not sure how long really. All Dani knows is that in this moment she feels still. And she doesn’t want it to end. 

“You didn’t fall asleep on me did ya?” Jamie teases. 

Dani laughs and reluctantly loosens her hold, pulling back to look at Jamie. 

She shakes her head, “No...needed a hug I guess.” She feels a tear sliding down her cheek. 

Jamie doesn’t respond, just offers a smile and wipes the tear away. Dani closes her eyes with the touch, feeling her heartbeat speed up. Does Jamie know, she thinks. Does she know? Can she feel it? She clears her throat, tries to compose herself. 

“Want to just laze about at home like usual? Pizza and beer hasn’t let us down yet...”

_ At home. _ Dani smiles at the way Jamie describes her home as a shared space. Which it is. And Jamie’s hers. 

“No, I’m okay. I’m excited to try this place.”

Jamie nods, and they continue to their destination. Conversation comes easy and they fall into their usual rhythm of banter and talking about the world around them. Couple hours later they are walking back down towards Dani’s. 

“Fancy a nightcap at the pub? You got dinner, only fair you let me buy ya a drink.”

“Actually, I was thinking we could just hang at my place instead. I’m feeling a little tired but could use some company.” Dani glances over, gets a nod and a  _ sure _ in return. 

When they get to Dani’s door, there’s a small package and a note from her neighbor.

_ Postman left this at mine by mistake. -Maggie. _

“What did ya get, a sex toy?”

Dani can’t hear anything Jamie says because her blood has turned cold as she reads the packaging, revealing where it came from. There it is. In neat cursive. 

_ Judy O’Mara. _

Dani swallows hard and her hands are shaking, and she feels so stupid because it’s just a stupid package. It’s just a box and some paper and...well, the next part’s what makes her tremble and her breath erratic. She feels Jamie’s hand on her shoulder and her soft voice cutting through the noise.

“Hey, Dani. What’s going on, you’re scaring me.”

Dani tries to answer but doesn’t know where to start. Jamie ushers her inside and sits her down on the couch. She feels her jacket being taken off her and then Jamie is in front of her, holding her hands and looking at her concerned. 

“Just breathe, okay. Breathe with me?”

She does as she’s told and soon her breaths are even and she is looking at Jamie, who is searching her face for answers. 

“Do you got a stalker or something? Cos’ I’ll sort them out for ya.” 

Dani can’t help but smile at Jamie’s words, her readiness to defend Dani pulls her back in a little bit more and she’s almost there. Almost ready to face that stupid little box. Or at least try. There’s a few more minutes of silence as Dani searches for the words and wonders how to explain this one. A clap of thunder outside has other plans and she jumps, a yelp escaping her lips. Dani buries her face in her hands, but she’s suffocating herself as her breaths become more and more erratic again. She squeezes her eyes shut, the predictable horrors reflecting back to her. 

Rain. Lights. Glass. Blood. Broken eyeglasses. Eddie’s lifeless eyes. Dani’s screams no one hears for what feels like hours. 

She vaguely hears her name but it feels very far away.  _ Jamie _ , she thinks. She just needs to follow that voice. She squeezes her eyes tighter and tries to focus on that voice. But then, the scene changes slightly. Instead of Eddie’s lifeless eyes in wet grass and dirt and debris, it’s Jamie’s. Jamie’s eyes frozen in fear and anguish. 

“No!” Dani screams. Jamie has to catch her and she feels a tight hold on her as she cries. She cries for all of it. She cries because she’s so tired. And because she wants to be free. Free of the guilt. Free of Eddie. Free of a dead man’s expectations and anger and sadness. Free of grief. 

Jamie holds her close and offers soft shushes to ease Dani back to the present. After some time, Dani feels even breaths and her eyelids no longer reflect ghosts. They sit still a while longer until Dani pulls away and searches for the words. Jamie speaks first.

“What happened? Where did you go?”

Where does she start, Dani thinks. Anywhere is better than nothing she supposes. Just got to start.

“The package is from Judy O’Mara. She, um...she’s my....I mean she was...she’s Eddie’s mom.”

Jamie nods but is obviously confused. 

“Eddie was um...well, he was....my...fiancé.”

The brunette’s eyebrows go up and she leans back a little. Dani watches her, trying to read the thousand expressions that have seemed to pass over Jamie’s face. 

“Wow...Dani, that’s um...that’s some news I guess...”

“Yeah...”

Jamie’s expression changes once again and it looks like she changes her mind on the question she wants to ask right before she speaks. 

“You said... _ was _ your fiancé. What happened?”

“He died,” Dani says very matter of fact. She supposes it’s the first time she has said it out loud. “He died about a year ago. We were driving home from a restaurant. Dinner got cut short. I um...I told him I couldn’t marry him. I told him I couldn’t love him the way he wanted.”

Jamie nods in understanding when Dani looks at her. She motions for Dani to continue. 

“He didn’t take it well. He said we should talk about it at home. That it was just nerves. And it was raining so hard...”

Dani feels hot tears run down her cheeks and her voice is becoming shakier. 

“It was raining so hard and he was so mad. I asked him, begged him, to slow down. But he couldn’t hear me. Wouldn’t hear me...and...the next thing I remember is being upside down in his car, all I could hear was the rain pound down on the car. I could see him...out in front. Lying there...not moving.”

“Oh Dani...”

“I can’t get him out of my head. I can’t get that night out of my head. It haunts me. I feel the weight of that entire car sitting on my chest.  _ Every. Day _ . It’s suffocating. I should have waited, I shouldn’t have let him get in that car angry.

“Dani, it was an accident. It was not your fault.”

“If I -“

“No. Dani, listen to me. You are not to blame. It was a shit thing. A shit thing to happen to you. It happened  _ to _ you. Not because of you. Can you hear that? He was driving too fast on a rainy night and he shouldn’t have been. You didn’t cause that to happen.” 

Dani is all tears and snot and red eyes but Jamie still looks at her the same way she always does. She’s determined and kind. 

“Jamie...”

“Dani, you don’t decide who lives and who dies, okay? I’m sorry but you don’t. You can literally achieve anything, I truly believe that. But, not that. Let yourself off the hook.”

She hears the words, she understands the words. She knows Jamie is right. She doesn’t decide who lives and who dies. But trauma really fucks with a brain. Dani’s head drops, her eyes close, and for the first time lets the demons in as they may. 

She sees all the same images, all the same triggers. This time she tries to control their power. Owes it to Jamie, she thinks. To try. 

Rain. Headlights. Yelling. A jerk of the wheel. Glass breaking and metal bending. A scream. Her name. He said her name. It was the last thing she heard before it went black. She hears it over and over again. A tape on loop. It won’t stop. It gets louder. 

Dani’s legs move and she’s standing. Pacing. Nowhere to go. Jamie’s hands are on each shoulder and she guides Dani to breathe. In and out. 

“Do ya wanna hit somethin?”

She’s not sure she heard the question right. And if she heard what she thinks she heard, it’s a ridiculous enough inquiry to distract her from what a really excellent meltdown. 

“Huh?” 

“Yeah, you need to hit something. Come on.”

Before she can think about what her answer is, Jamie is putting her coat on and grabbing Dani’s hand and closing the door behind them and leading them down to her truck. And they’re driving down a country road and music is playing softly on the radio and her hand is in Jamie’s. 

They pull up to a small plot of land. A run down shack or barn or who knows what. Jamie, silent this whole time, an alarmingly unreadable expression, except for a slight cheeky smile. 

“Jamie, what are we - “

“Patience, Poppins.” 

Hand in hand still, Jamie leads Dani around and she finds herself looking at a couple farm vehicles and an old pickup truck, not unlike Jamie’s, buried in overgrowth and rusty. There’s lots of broken glass on the ground. Lots of random debris. Dani is taking it all in, distracted by every detail she absorbs about this strange place Jamie has brought her to. She looks up to Jamie, confused to find her holding a baseball bat.

“I think...what we need is a good ol fashioned exorcism.” 

Dan’s forehead scrunches and she looks at the bat, then back at Jamie. 

“An...exorcism?”

“Yeah,” Jamie replies as if it’s the most logical explanation. 

Dani watches as Jamie walks over to a tree stump, picking up a small pile of plates along the way. She sets them down on the stump and backs away, She smacks the bat lightly against the palm of her hand and looks to Dani. 

“I see ya strugglin, Dani. I see you getting sucked into the shit, I see the demons holding you down. I get it. I have my own demons to reckon with, but like I said...I had someone once help me learn how to take their power away. And take mine back. I learned to let go of the breath I was holding for  _ years. _ I’m not perfect, not by a long shot.” 

Jamie is right in front of Dani now. 

“I want to see you exhale, Dani. I want to see you free. It doesn’t happen in one night or day or week. But you gotta start somewhere. And this is a start. So here you go,” Jamie hands the bat to her, “ just start. She whispers that last part and gives Dani a motion to get swinging. 

Dani walks towards the tree stump and hears Jamie behind her. “And if you ask me...,” she begins and Dani encourages her to continue with a curious smile, “four plates is really the perfect amount to get a good, demon smashing hit in.” 

Dani smiles, feeling a sense of excitement and nervousness rise up in her chest. Jamie backs up and waits. She closes her eyes and grips the bat, inhaling a deep breath. And then she lets out a guttural scream that normally would embarrass her right into a cave she’d never come out of but she doesn’t care that Jamie sees her like this. She doesn’t know how many things she smashes, just that they keep appearing on the stump. And she keeps swinging. Every swing of the bat and every broken dish is a loosened string of a corset that’s been cinched around her since the moment she realized she was gay and started holding her breath because she had no idea what to do next. She does remember however, a moment when, despite the yelling and the accusations, she felt free for the first time in a long time. She had said it out loud. She had stepped into a world of new possibilities, of choosing for herself. But she had broken Eddie’s heart in the process. Eddie who was first her best friend. Her first friend, really. Whose family took her in as their own. Who kept her company first when she didn’t have anyone. These swings are for him too. To mourn him. To be angry with him. To tell him she’s sorry but she has to let him go. 

Dani’s not sure when she started crying or when she stopped swinging, but she’s now on her knees, sobbing. Each demon shrinking with every heave of her chest. Jamie’s next to her now, holding her, arms wrapped around Dani. Her breaths even out and she doesn’t think she has anything left to even cry about. She pulls herself from Jamie, enough to be able to look at the incredible woman in front of her. Who’s holding her. Who suited up and armed herself to stand alongside Dani as they slay the first battalion of demons. Guilt. Regret. Grief. Pain. Trauma. Anger. Sadness.

Jamie breaks the silence. She leans her forehead against Dani’s and asks that question she’s asked so many times. 

“Alright, Poppins?”

Dani nods, and breathes. There is a lightness in her that feels new. That feels hopeful. 

“Yeah. For the first time in a long time, I think I am. Thank you, Jamie.”

The brunette blushes, and smiles at Dani. She raises her hands to cup Dani’s cheeks and wipe remaining tears away. They look at each other for a moment and Dani feels it. Feels the moment she’s faced so many times but never reached out and grabbed. When Jamie’s hands start to slip away from her face she takes hold of them, keeping them in their place and hears Jamie’s breath hitch. She looks at Jamie. Really looks. How could she have waited this long? Withheld this much? 

“You’ve been so patient,” Dani whispers.

Jamie sighs, understanding what Dani means. “You’re worth the wait, love.”

Dani’s smiles, and she knows it’s a big dumb goofy smile but she doesn’t care. And she keeps smiling when she leans in and kisses Jamie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dish smashing scene is inspired by an episode of Sex Education.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times are afoot.

Her knees are wet but she’s kissing Jamie. Tentative at first, but growing more hungry with each passing moment. She feels Jamie’s tongue with her own, tasting and licking. Jamie’s hands are still holding her head, her thumbs softly swiping right above Dani’s ears. Their bodies are pressed together, their mouths, tongues and lips moving with an urgency only about 10 months of the most g-rated foreplay could produce. Dani pulls back to catch her breath and take a moment to look at Jamie.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Dani confesses. “God, I’ve thought about kissing you since the moment I met you.”

“Me too,” Jamie responds, her eyes full of desire and need. Her chest rises and falls with heavy breaths. 

“We’re idiots,” Dani laughs into Jamie’s lips and she feels her hum in return, a small chuckle following. 

“We don’t have to rush anything, Dani. We can take this as fast or slow as you need, I just - “

“Do you want to go back to mine?” Dani interrupts, slightly embarrassed at the eagerness she can’t hide. Jamie laughs and gives a resounding yes.

The ride back is thick with each woman’s thoughts on the inevitability once they reach their destination. Dani is riding the high of feeling the freest she’s felt in a long time. Maybe ever. She’s seizing the moment and seizing Jamie, who Dani notices, leg is particularly bouncy and who is extra fidgety as they walk up the stairs to her door waiting for it to be unlocked. Dani turns back to Jamie before going in. 

“There’s no pressure...um...for anything. I know it was an intense night and...and...I’ve  _ obviously _ got a fuckton of issues and I just want to make sure you don’t feel like you have to do anything or be anything....or...”. She’s rambling, she knows it but she can’t seem to stop herself. “We can just talk or - “. Jamie steps closer to her, hands finding Dani’s waist and pulls her closer, stopping Dani from continuing. Jamie searches Dani’s eyes for a moment before speaking. 

“I want this. And I want you.” Dani smiles at that, exhaling a relieved breath as she nods. “You’re not too broken or whatever it is you think makes you are not enough. You’re enough for me. Okay?” Jamie pauses, taking a deep breath. Honestly Dani, it’s a bit scary how much I feel for you and I...I...-“

Jamie shakes her head as she stutters, caught on what she’s trying to say. She huffs, seemingly frustrated with herself and Dani smiles at the way her face scrunches a little as she chews on her bottom lip, searching herself for the words. 

“I’m all in, I guess is what I’m trying to say.” 

Dani leans in, choosing to kiss Jamie in lieu of a verbal response, and hopes Jamie feels her saying that she’ll jump too. She’ll brave the great unknown with her, one day at a time. Jamie presses her body against Dani, her back hitting the door, and deepens the kiss. 

“We should probably take this inside,” Dani suggests breathlessly against Jamie’s lips, reluctant to break contact but aware still that they are bordering on scandalizing the apartment building. 

“Uh huh,” Jamie says, but makes no attempt to move away. Dani manages to find the door knob behind her, and they stumble into her flat, laughing. Jamie grabs hold of Dani, softly nudging her towards the couch, the silly moment soon forgotten. Jackets are frantically pushed off and curious hands search one another as Dani’s legs hit the couch and she sits, guided still by Jamie. Dani groans as legs bracket her own and she feels the weight of Jamie’s body in her lap. Her eyes close as soft lips are acquainted with her neck. She feels herself pushing up into Jamie, hungry for more. She opens her eyes again momentarily, and glances over Jamie’s shoulder, the small brown package catching her attention, and her breath hitches. Jamie is mid assault on her neck but quickly realizes Dani’s attention is now elsewhere. 

“Hey...,” Jamie asks, leaning back. She cups her face, her thumb stroking Dani’s cheek. “Alright, Poppins?”

Those two words help break the spell for a moment. Dani blinks, not immediately answering the question Jamie has asked. 

“Yeah....y-yes,” she finally says. “Sorry. I looked up and saw the box and it just hit me again and wow...yeah.”

Jamie nods and moves to get off Dani’s lap but she is held in place and looks back to Dani, expectantly. 

“I’m okay. There’s no need for  _ you _ to go anywhere.” She sees a small show of relief on Jamie’s face as she flexes her fingers into her hips, hoping to convey even more that she wants this. That she wants her. 

Jamie’s eyes search her own for a moment before asking, “You sure?” 

There’s no hesitation in Dani’s answer and she pulls Jamie back in, pushing haunted brown boxes and car crashes out of her mind and focuses on what Jamie’s lips feel like when pressed to hers, and what Jamie’s tongue feels like when licked by her own. She focuses on the small and steady roll of Jamie’s hips into her lap and the sounds she makes when Dani pushes back and presses her hands to the small of Jamie’s back, encouraging her ministrations. She focuses on the sweet sounds that escape from Jamie’s mouth when there is a particularly harmonious thrust into each other. 

Dani can feel her own heart pounding, erratic and excited. She wants more. She wants all of Jamie and she hopes Jamie will accept all of her. 

“Do you...want....uh...,” Dani begins but is finding it difficult to form a coherent sentence. Not while Jamie is kissing and grinding and moaning. She tries again. “Jamie... _ fuck...” _

She feels Jamie smile against her lips, obviously proud of what she’s doing to her. She lingers on her mouth a little before pulling back. Dani’s eyes don’t open right away to meet Jamie’s. She keeps them closed in hopes that not looking back to Jamie right now will allow her to finish that sentence. She doesn't need to though because Jamie leans in and she feels a tickle at her ear.

“Shall we take this to the bedroom?”

_ “God, yes.” _

  * _\- - - - - - - - - - -_



Satisfaction in bed was something that, not too long ago and then even longer before that, Dani used to describe as a fairy tale. Or on more honest days, as a fantasy that perhaps exists for some. For those braver than her. For those even more honest than she could ever be. 

And even though her eventual honesty brought her grief and sadness, it also brought her a freedom she holds so precious. She’s lucky, she thinks, to be where she is now. To be kissing and touching a woman she desires. To be able to satiate her hunger for the taste and feel of a woman. For Jamie in particular. Dani looks down at Jamie as she crawls over her. Jamie slides back, leading Dani in a small chase. She finally settles on top, one leg in between Jamie’s. There’s a pull in her stomach and a pressure between her legs that aches for release and she feels her own arousal at the thought of Jamie’s fingers...and mouth...and tongue...pushing her over that great edge, taking Jamie with her. There’s gentle laughter at the awkwardness of getting clothes off one another. There’s impatient and eager kisses in between each removal of clothing and when, finally,  _ finally _ , there’s skin on skin, Dani is electric. She wants to make this last. Wants Jamie to feel every single moment of this. She adjusts herself, setting into a similar position that she was when more clothed except this allows for wet skin and vibrating nerves to settle onto each other and when she thrusts up and sees Jamie’s head push back into the pillow, letting out a deep moan, she summons every part of her to not come undone right there. It’s hard though, this moment has a thousand moments before it, all building on each other until it’s an explosive pressure, needing only the smallest of sparks to ignite a wildfire. She buries her face in Jamie’s neck, licking and biting as she continues grinding into her as she sighs, whimpers, and groans.

“ _ Fuck,  _ Dani....”

Dani smiles, because what else is she supposed to do when Jamie says those things, and when Jamie sighs into her mouth as they kiss and as they push into each other seeking the same release. She hasn’t ever gotten off this way with someone before, with only grinding slick skin together. Dani feels herself getting closer to the edge. Both their skin is sticky with sweat. She leans down to press her forehead against Jamie’s as she continues to rock back and forth, her faster pace slowing down to make this last as long as she can. Dani reaches her hand down, needing to spread herself a little to get that contact just right again and when she  _ feels _ Jamie on herself, her breath hitches and Jamie responds in kind. One of Dani’s arms is wrapped under Jamie’s neck, holding her close. The room is spymphony of breaths and moans and pushing and an occasional  _ oh fuck _ . 

“You feel so good,” Dani whispers in between hungry kisses.

“You too...fuck, Dani...I’m really close...”

“Me too. God Jamie, come for me. I want to feel you come on me.”

Jamie can only  _ uh huh _ in response, her breath growing more erratic like Dani’s.

She wants to let go so bad but the buildup is just as good. There’s a sweet satisfaction in the frustration of wanting to let go but at the same time hoping it never ends. Dani can’t stay the impending crest of the tidal wave any more and it comes crashing, moments before she feels Jamie’s body tense and jerk under her. It runs all the way down to her toes, like a long stretch that pushes out of her feet. Jamie lets out a long groan as she grips Dani, one hand curling around her jaw to the back of her head, the other holding Dani’s hip. She kisses Dani through the last leg of their orgasms, long and slow, giving a final bite and lick as if to punctuate the moment. 

“Wow...”

“Yeah,” Dani agrees, a smile on her face followed by a breathy laugh. “I’ve never...that’s never...”

“First time for me too, Poppins.”

Dani leans back to get a better look at Jamie, eyes wide in disbelief. “For real? How...you...you’re...”

Jamie laughs, her head doing that cheeky tilt, even when flat on a pillow. “What? Can’t believe it? Look, I’ve certainly had my fair share of women, but no...haven’t quite fucked like  _ that _ before.”

“Me neither,” Dani says and moves to lay next to Jamie, immediately missing the sweaty, sticky contact of their skin together. She’s still a little out of breath. She turns her body to face Jamie.

“Did you like it?” 

She hates the way she sounds as she says it. Simultaneously insecure and fishing for a compliment. But it’s a high she chases. Knowing she satisfied a woman. Especially this woman. 

“Dani,” Jamie begins, looking up at the ceiling. She turns now, to face Dani and reaches out to run her thumb over Dani’s lips before meeting her eyes. “I fucking loved it.”

And Dani smiles because  _ what else  _ is she supposed to do after Jamie looks at her like she does and says  _ I fucking love it _ in that accent. She leans in to kiss Jamie, whimpering when Jamie’s hand runs over her hip and pulls her flush against her again. She wants more, wants to kiss and lick every part of Jamie. But today’s been  _ a lot _ and she feels her eyes getting heavy. She nestles herself into Jamie’s neck, planting soft kisses there. 

“Jamie,” she murmurs sleepily. 

“Hmm?” 

“I’m so glad I kissed you. And I’m so glad you’re my best friend. I’m so glad I get to feel your skin on my skin. I’m just...”

“Happy?” Jamie finishes for her.

“Yes.” 


End file.
